Bad potatoes, broccoli
Another brown eye blinked?
All these and more are clever ways of acknowledging the stink
From burned out rubber, to dead roses
The aromas wide may vary
Depending on your last intake of vittles, stentch may tarry
Oh tire treads, oh skid marks
You grace my Hanes Her Way
How many times i regret saying, "Pass the beans this way."
But it is true as Father said
Beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot, and hence, the more you shoot
I never thought I'd mind so much
But twas on my first date
That naughty air biscuit made it's way on leather cushions as we ate
Did you know that there is nothing worse
Than farting on sqeaking leather, or hard wood?
I'm sorry to say but this first date had no happy endings, as it could
But thats alright I'm over it
He was a blubbery tycoon anyway
And so I thank you, my darling fart, for saving my ass that day
(Well....this is awkward)
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2 comments:
Bert,
Beautiful poem! In my opinion the best fart-yielding dish has to be, hands down, bacon and onions. The day after I had eaten a pound of bacon with fried onions I was riding in the back of an enclosed truck with my Soldiers. I let a long, silent one crawl slowly out of my pants and it smelled exactly like a mix of my previous evening's dish, with a hint of poop garnish. The best thing was that it lingered for a good 30 minutes before dissipating and I savored every minute.
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