the Evil Wizard in silk wraps- by Abby Peisch

I'd like to give a shout-out to all the girls in America who are sadly deceived into thinking they look hott in orange... you know, those girls who strut around in the grocery store in their clingy sweatpants, their hair up in a mad-mommy pony-tail, and their fake orange tans? Do they never look in a mirror or something? Wake up girls, you look like you're slathered in red mud! My prejudice against tanning salons is slowly ebbing away, but not against the people who spend the majority of their lives cooped up inside them. It makes me sick.

And the other half of their lives are spent in nail salons getting their acryllic claws buffed and filled and cleaned. Hands are made for working. Yea you can paint your nails now and then, and please keep them clean (for my sake if nobody else's), but for heaven's sake let the Evil Wizard have the claws. Maintaining nails that prevent the hands from doing anything useful, like washing dishes, putting on makeup, or typing an angry blog, is the equivalent wearing a huge sign around your neck stating "I HAVE NEVER WORKED A DAY IN MY LIFE. I AM A BRAT." I know those girls are out there. That's right, I'm talking to you. Please take this to heart, but do not take offense. If I am ever found alive in a nail salon getting acryllics I will personally copy this blog onto a piece of paper and eat it.