Living, Breathing Storm

an angry wind tearing through the branches , swirling leaves in dizzying circles
dust laden air choking, suffocating, coating the window panes
storm clouds gathering, obliterating the sun, fighting for a place in the darkening sky

creatures scurrying, birds fleeing, my feet carry me
shutters banging, the house creaking, the door slams behind me
lightning sparks, the lamp flickers, darkness descends like a shroud

a draft creeps in under the door, the wind sneaks down the chimney
sparks smolder on the hearth where they land, then, like the lights, they go out
sitting in the dark, feeling alone, but am I?

the air is heavy, the blackness tangible, a presence in the room
I sit on my hands to still their shaking, listen to the old clock chime
if I believed in feeling fear, surely this would be the time

I posted

Hey, I posted a tribute, but it for some reason appears below joy's poem. Check it out.

Here's To You - By Joy (an uncharacteristicly cheesy post)

Here's to sweet dreams
Whilst the horizon dims
And the steady drum of waves
Hit the glassy dunes

Here's to sweet memories
Whilst the moon rises
Slowly above the cool dew
And spreads a soft light

Drink it in, my love
Drink in the sweet smell of love
Sleep still, my love
Sleep and breath in my care

Here's to sweet love
Whilst I hold you close
Soothing with the sound
Of my flowing words

Breathe it in, my love
Breathe in the cool water of my soul
Pray fair, my love
Pray lord brings me home tonight

Here's To You

Well, here I am chaps, posting at last

Dear Friends,
I decided at some prompting that I should become a member of this mutual building-up of each other via "Well...this is awkward" fest. So here is my tribute to all of you:

Disclaimer: First I would like to get out of the way any physical compliments that must be made. You are all ridiculously gorgeous and you shouldn't even need me to say this to know it. Now on to the non-shallow stuff...

Ricky:
Though at times I dearly fear for your sanity, (like for example, ehem, ehem, when you decided to hitchhike with the mexicans (no disrespect to mexicans of course)), you are fearless and full of life, something I am not always. You are wonderfully flamboyant in a way only an ex-homeschooler can be, with all of your little sayings and phrases that coming from an ugly girl would be geeky, but from someone as beautiful and stylish as yourself are absolutely charming. You are willing to push the limits and encourage the rest of us to do so, sometimes to our detriment, others times for our own good. You inspire me to just let loose and have fun when I'm being too up-tight. You are an incredibly creative person when it comes to cooking, teaching me how to whip up a fantastic pauper's soup out of the bare essentials from our pantry. I love you dearly and America just isn't the same without you. I miss you Beckster, come home safe!

Abbs:
Though you are the most reserved and conservative of us all, when we have talks you are honest and open, giving your opinion freely. You are diligent and compassionate, even if you do lose your patience from time to time (ehem, with that sister of yours). You have a flair for art and decorating, and if you don't go to college and make something of your talent I will personally kick your ass. You are sweet and adorable, and will make a wonderful home-maker someday, just wait till you've experienced what's out there first. You are motherly, a trait that many women lack, and you are good at. You will make a good mother some day, just wait a few years. On the other hand, you are also capable of having fun, and you are funny and great fun when you kick back and relax. (That was alot of "funs" in one sentence). You are also un-comprimising of your beliefs. Just keeping standing up for what you believe in, though keep an opened mind, and you will do fine. Love you!

Joy:
My dearest sister, you are something else. When I'm not fighting with you, you are the most fun person to be with. You, like Becky, have a flair for life. You bring flavor to every situation, a la Joy. You are the life of the party, and certainly don't care what anyone thinks of you. You forge ahead bravely into a world un-explored. Just be careful that you don't go to fast, but if you do try to, that's what I'm here for, (fist being punched into other palm in threatening manner) if you know what I mean. You are probably the most un-blushingly absurd and outragious person I know. My life was never the same some 16 years ago when you entered it with a bang. Though at first I tried to convince mommy to leave you at the child-birth-center, I quickly grew attached to you, and you, unfortunately quite tightly, to me. You are not at all descrete in anyway shape or form, but that is part of your charm, which you are absolutely overflowing with. You are the wild one, which I suppose nicely compliments my wise self. I love you just the way you are!

Tributes - By Becky

i guess its my turn to write my tributes to the sisters/cousins...but i am purposely writing this before reading the others that you have written...so we shall see any differences and/or similarities. here we go.

Geets:
you are sulky a lot of the time. i don't know if this is due to feeling bad about yourself, (for no aparent reason) or just being border line depressed about nothing in particular. you really have no reason to feel this way. you are hott. you probably should get out more though, cause then you'll have something to compare yourself to and see how attractive you truely are. or maybe look in the mirror a bit more often. its a technique i use on myself and have found it to be quite effective in boosting ones self esteem. even though your life sucks at times and you've been thrown into various elder child responsiblities in your family, i have always admired your mature attitude. i think thats one of the reasons we tend to lable you as the wet blanket, when in actuality, you are just plain mature because circumstances have made you that way. regardless, you are one of the best people i can count on to tell me the truth about things, wether i want to hear it or not. you are very fun to hang out with especially when you take the risk of actually doing something slightly outrageous, especially in public.

Gabbs:
I confess i have thought of you as the wall flower in the earlier years, always blending into the backround. now i realize that you were more like a little moth cacooning itself untill it becomes a beautiful butterfly, which you have. i still think you need to have a bit more excitement in your life, but i know that will come with time. obviously. for now you seem to be doing a decent job with yourself. you've changed so much in the last couple years i hardly recogize you from the little impish sister i once had. and although i may scorn you at times for your immaculately high standards, i am proud of you for being yourself and not being afraid of what others think of you. keep up the good work handling boys and keeping them in their place. this would be a good area to let your mean streak come out of hiding and be an actual bitch when the situation calls for it. (as we well know it has)

Joy:
well i have to say you're probably the most noticably intruiging individual out of us all. although the youngest of the group, you are extremely capable of acting twice your age when the situation calls for it. and i would much rather go out with you than with a group of 21 year olds. we can always count on you to bring the extra twist of strangeness that makes each experience "Soooooo-o-o-o-o GOOOO-O-O-OD" (said in the Shuddering So Good Voice) sometimes i forget how old you are, and i remember how rediculous and immiture i was when i was your age. so you are actually way ahead of the game. if you're like this now, imagine how great you'll be when you hit 19. yup, its a good age. one of the things i like about you most (and this is unusual for me to pick out of ALL the things) is your ability to adapt to any situation, whatever it may be. you are very personable (in all meanings of the word....thanks Grandma) and super pretty even though you manage to act like a boy some of the time. thats a tribute that many guys adore.

My little hobbit -by Abby

i know i'm posting way more often than anybody else, but who cares? at least i'm being true the the blog...

Yesterday afternoon I was in my bathroom when I hear Benny in his little hobbit voice announce, "Okay guys, I'm going to Corey's house" as he tromped downstairs. I yelled after him, "You are NOT!" because I did not feel like traipsing over there to retrieve him. I then resumed my cleaning, or primping, I don't remember which it was, without a second thought to his proclamation. About five minutes later, my mom yells up the stairs, "girls? is Benny up there with you??" He wasn't, and we promptly started yelling for him at the top of our lungs. Then I hear Corey's voice coming from the kitchen (oh Lord, NOW what?), and a moment later my mom yells up to me, "Abby, Benny just went over to the neighbors' yard!"

It turns out, he invited him self over, decked out in his red rain boots, and started tugging on Corey's shorts (while he was using the weed-wacker in his back yard). It scared the crud out of the poor guy! Needless to say, the doors are staying LOCKED while my mom's in Israel!

Soldier-Girl, In Thee We Trust? -by Abby

Now that Rebecca is about to go into the Israeli Army, I deem myself permitted to relay this story to you:



Once upon a dark night, Rebecca and I were riding the bus home from down-town Jerusalem. The time was near 11 o'clock pm. We were the last two passengers aboard the bus, besides the driver himself. The rain pattered on the roof and trickled lazily across the windows, adding to the ominous atmosphere conjured up in our imaginations (which I assure you were working over-time that night). As the bus wound its way through the dark neighborhood of Castel, precariously weaving between parked cars, dumpsters, and empty bus stops, Rebecca and I grew increasingly aware of the late hour and our perceived predicament. Suddenly, like the beating of our hearts, the huge bus came to a stop. The driver, a man in his mid-fourties, eased himself from his seat behind the wheel, and made his way toward the back of the bus. Slowly and deliberately he checked each row of seats he came to, as if expecting to find something left behind by a passenger, for he was nearing the end of his route. Feigning interest in the dark surroundings outside the bus, Rebecca and I kept a warry eye on the man. At last, he made his way back to his seat, and with relief we assumed that we would now proceed on home. But it was not to be. Sitting glassy-eyed beneath the flickering florescent light, we watched him get comfortable, then reach up and switch off the small light above him. "Death and Doom" ringing in our ears, we held a quiet councel of war. Reaching nervously into her purse, Rebecca retrieved a black switch-blade given to her by Aaron. A weapon I highly doubted her skill with. But doubt would get us nowhere, so I glanced about the bus, and my eyes alighted on the row of glass-breakers hung above the window to my right and two rows ahead. Speaking a combination of Chihuahua (our made-up language), a few words of english, and reading each other's lips, it was agreed that if the man attempted to approach us Rebecca would lash out at him with her switch-blade (which she had tucked under the sleeve of her shirt) and I would clambor over the seats in front of me, snatch up a glass-breaker, and bash out one of the windows. Assuming the guy was at that point helpless and bleeding (and not the other way around) we would then leap from the window to the street five feet below, and set out for home.

Well, all our planning was for naught. After a brief rest, the driver flicked on his light, and proceeded on towards our bus stop unaware of the planned assasination from the back seat. So never make an assumption about your driver when you don't know his evening schedule. Or if you really want to avoide lowering yourself to the level of legitimate stupidity, only carry a switch-blade if you know how to use it, or just don't ride the bus after 11 pm.

Tributes

Abby Jane-
You are beautiful, inside and out. What sticks out about you is that you know what you believe and you follow after that with all your heart. You are generous, caring, giggly, and responsible. Just remember, in all things, have fun. Life is meant to be lived daringly. You nicely surprised me when we were in the car listening to "Yeah" by Usher and you started dancing. Yeah!!! You are such a good listener, and you always make me laugh somehow. I long for the days when us four girls can move in together and wreak havoc upon whatever town we live. I love you so much.

Grace Elizabeth-
Although we are often ridiculously competitive over petty things, you know I never mean the negative things I say. You are super attractive, and your large ba-donk-a-donk only makes you that much hotter. And no, not like a "hot soccer mom." More like a hot 17-year-old. I can't say I love you more than you know, because you DO know. You were my strength during my slight emotional meltdowns during the "Germany" phase, kept me from being afraid during thunderstorms, and rescued me from that crazy, leering, blond psycho path when no one else noticed poor Joy being molested.


Rebecca Hope-
Even though we are all still the weird homeschoolers inside, I must say, you do display your inner homeschooler with great flourish. Not that anyone who hasn't been homeschooled would notice, but the little silly things you say and do make you who you are. You are quirky, fun, loving, silly, and basically an awesome person to hang out with. You make life never boring. Just remember to keep it real, a.k.a soft & floppy. You are a truly beautiful person. I love you, and I'm going to miss you so bad. So hurry up and come back.

Rantings of the Least Likely of all the Cousins to Rave about anything- by Abby

the purpose of this post is to point out at least one good thing (more if I can think of them) about each of the three most important girls in my life. I'll leave it to you to return the favor...

WITH WISDOM COMES GRACE~

Grace is the center of the see-saw. Rebecca and Joy occupy one end, while I cling to the other end. Grace is the voice of wisdom calming Rebecca and Joy's wild spirits, and egging me on to let go and live. Grace, you're awesome. Trust yourself and live.


ODE TO JOY~

A monkey, a super model, Smeagle, and a princess.... don't ask me how it's done, but Joy has somehow managed to bundle them all together into one hilarious, beautiful, fun-loving, daring, sometimes frightening cousin. Yea. That pretty much says it all. I love you Joyus!


REBECCA'S REASONING~

I don't think I'll ever understand you, my dear. Many a drawn-out conversation have we had, and rarely do we completely agree on anything. But that's okay. It only shines a brighter spotlight on the common ground that we do share, and makes our lighthearted moments even lighter. So not to make this too overly sentimental, I love you and I'm going to miss you. And please do send me a photo of the safety device they put on your rifle!


OKAY, RANDOM MEMORY:

do any of you remember when Hannah told us a story about a fat woman who went into a Rodney Howard Brown meeting and got hit with the Holy Spirit and danced until all her fat fell off, using a magnadoodle to illustrate her story?

it's not a ditch, just a rut in the road - by Abby

guys are wierd. they're either like a slobbering, growling pittbull, or a caged puppy who just wet his newspaper. either way they wear a mask of complete cool and total control of the situation. if you have nothing to say, they claim to have made you speechless. if you just grabbed the words right out of their throats, they claim they never meant to say anything anyway.... and if you tell them to back off and quit flirting with you, they play dumb. they're good at that. if they're riding high they try to get your sympathy. if you ditch them, they pretend they're riding high. king of the hill. hah! more like the little ant struggling to dig a tunnel under the hill, hoping you don't step on it. sorry buddy boy, it's not a ditch..... just a little rut in the road. you'll get over it.

Becky is Odd as well - By Joy

Although our friend Becky here thinks that she has escaped from the weirdness radar, no such luck!

I shall confirm a few things that she has said: Grace is the responsible head on all of our shoulders...keeping us from doing ridiculous things and chiding us when we do.

Second, I have come to terms with my monkey muzzle so it is no longer an issue. I find it sexy.

And lastly, Louie was skinny and Justin didn't dip.

HAH.

But anyways, Rick, I will miss you sooo much, and I love you more than words can say. Stay safe, please?

the Evil Wizard in silk wraps- by Abby Peisch

I'd like to give a shout-out to all the girls in America who are sadly deceived into thinking they look hott in orange... you know, those girls who strut around in the grocery store in their clingy sweatpants, their hair up in a mad-mommy pony-tail, and their fake orange tans? Do they never look in a mirror or something? Wake up girls, you look like you're slathered in red mud! My prejudice against tanning salons is slowly ebbing away, but not against the people who spend the majority of their lives cooped up inside them. It makes me sick.

And the other half of their lives are spent in nail salons getting their acryllic claws buffed and filled and cleaned. Hands are made for working. Yea you can paint your nails now and then, and please keep them clean (for my sake if nobody else's), but for heaven's sake let the Evil Wizard have the claws. Maintaining nails that prevent the hands from doing anything useful, like washing dishes, putting on makeup, or typing an angry blog, is the equivalent wearing a huge sign around your neck stating "I HAVE NEVER WORKED A DAY IN MY LIFE. I AM A BRAT." I know those girls are out there. That's right, I'm talking to you. Please take this to heart, but do not take offense. If I am ever found alive in a nail salon getting acryllics I will personally copy this blog onto a piece of paper and eat it.

Joy is Weirder - by Becky

not that i am taking anyone's side here, but being the objective older cousin of these two, i would like to clarify a couple of things. while grace is moody and cynical most of the time, she is also very fun and spontaneous. after a few drinks that is. she may beg to differ, but it is true. and there is nothing wrong grace, with being the responsible one. that doesn't mean you don't kick back and have a good time. it just means you have a good head on your shoulders and know how to use it. and you have really nice lips (with no monkey muzzle, an added plus!) and a classically beautiful face. i've always thought so....i admit that sometimes i wonder if you'll be okay...i mean, you don't find any males attractive. ANY! if james franco walked by you might give him a, "well, he's not hideous...." and when we watched the movie "Step Up" at lisa's, we were going nuts over channing tatum's jaw muscle and you mocked us and said that he had pig eyes. hmmm....its slightly surprising being that the only guys you come in contact with on a daily basis (other than family) are your stingy, over weight co-worker louie, and greene highschool boys who are on their way to getting mouth cancer from all the dipping they do. well i guess that just means you have more self respect than most of us, so i'll give you a pat on the back for that. and i might add that you are my shoulder to cry during our LSWBB (little sisters with bigger boobs) support group meetings.
now joy on the other hand, is super rediculous and often does crazy and embarrasing things in public. but she is pretty and has a nearly perfect body so she can get away with it. our aunt allie recently took all four of us neices, Becky, Grace, Abby, and Joy, out to dinner. afterwards we went to a starbucks to hang out and have a cup of coffee. some time during the evening joy decided that she would like to conduct a social experiment on how the public treats caucasian unwed mothers. she went into the bathroom and emerged a few minutes later as a 6-month pregnant teenage girl. she'd shoved a sweater under her shirt, perfectly molding it to look like belly. people stared. they did a double take....whats worse, she continually stroked it in public, making loud comments like, "oh man i need a ciggerette", or "dude i really shouldn't drink so much." the two guys sitting next to us looked extremely confused. later that night, she got out of the car and had a "contraction" leaning against a garage door in hasbruck heights. the two black kids stealing a bycicle across the street actually stopped what they were doing and stared. interesting interesting.......all that said, i will miss you both sooo much. you will always be my best friends and i love you Geetz and Joyus.

Grace is a weirdo

I have decided to dedicate this post to how odd my sister Grace is. You know my heart is behind this, because I rarely post on this website. But some issues must be addressed before they get out of hand or ridiculous. Which I believe she already has.

It all started when I passed her in Saxon Math and she got pissed. She then sank into deppresion and yelled at me a lot. It hurt.

I still cry sometimes.

Thank you ok.

Management.

A Tick, a Boy, a Family - another one of Bert Pishle's finest

Many say of dogs and men
A man’s best friend’s of canine blend
But what of boys, the little men?
I’ll tell you what, when I was ten

She jumped upon my head one day
A mother tick an egg did lay
And I knew not that I did please
A baby tick with lymes disease

And little champ did suckle there
Upon my blood we both did share
In weeks that past he swelled in size
A coffee bean, to my demise

For many days I knew yet not
Why hair fell out and flesh did rot
Until I felt the tell tale bump
My little friend, a blood-filled lump

At first my shock and nausea soared
And from the bite green puss did pour
But I was not disheartened yet
Two lonely souls had finally met

You may think I’d pluck him from
The head that he’d been feeding on
But the little champ would not be free
So I let him stay, a part of me

Oh I will boast in nothing less
Than my little tick’s own happiness
For I knew that we were meant to be
A Tick, a Boy, a Family

Now I shall lay me down to sleep
I pray the lord my soul to keep
If lymes disease should me destroy
I gave a tick a life of joy

Beware myspacers and IMers - Bert Pishle

STRANGER DANGER! i deleted the guido post due to it's innapropriate language content....here is something slightly more usefull:

Who Let the Fart Out? - a poem by Bert Pishle

Bad potatoes, broccoli
Another brown eye blinked?
All these and more are clever ways of acknowledging the stink

From burned out rubber, to dead roses
The aromas wide may vary
Depending on your last intake of vittles, stentch may tarry

Oh tire treads, oh skid marks
You grace my Hanes Her Way
How many times i regret saying, "Pass the beans this way."

But it is true as Father said
Beans the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot, and hence, the more you shoot

I never thought I'd mind so much
But twas on my first date
That naughty air biscuit made it's way on leather cushions as we ate

Did you know that there is nothing worse
Than farting on sqeaking leather, or hard wood?
I'm sorry to say but this first date had no happy endings, as it could

But thats alright I'm over it
He was a blubbery tycoon anyway
And so I thank you, my darling fart, for saving my ass that day

(Well....this is awkward)

Joint management

Because I only have so many clever ideas for posts in my head, I decide to extend the posting privliges, and now my dearest cousin Rebecca Hope Pishle (social security # 138-90-3423; address 347 Englewood NJ 00198; dog's name "Captain Obvious"; times when she is alone in a dark alley- 8-9 PM Mon-Thu, execpt on holidays...). So welcome Rebecca "Becky" Pishle to the blog!



Thank you ok.
Management





PS: the pictures are of my accomplice and I. Although both are slightly troubling, they describe our personalities and relationship perfectly.

i shave my arms and wax my eyebrows and wear sparkly bras under see through shirts

do those kids from nj ever get under your skin? you know, the girls who wear tight leggings with tunic tops secured at the waist by large and many times lavishly decorated belts, and ugg boots...with their maticulously highlighted hair flat ironed till it looks like it would crack if you were to bend it in half. and when they are drunk, they think the hottest dance move is hopping around with their butt sticking out and their arms in the air above their head yelling, "wooohoooo!" but that's not half as bad as what they wear to go clubbing. a sparkly sequined bra with a tight, sometimes see through tank top over it and a mini skirt which could be much more forgiving around the theighs, but since it is a mini skirt, it is not. fat girls, i'm sorry to be blunt but i keep it real.
as if this is not enought, they also go tanning and probably use the bronzing creams provided by the salon to give their skin an amusing orange tint that makes my toes curl if i stare too long. most of them have their nails done with silk wraps (white and pink) which for no aparent reason, has always annoyed me. i guess cause it means they pretty much can't do any real work or they 'might break a nail'.
this is also the reason i was never attracted to guys with especially soft hands...i don't know about you, but to me this says, "i've never done a day of hard work in my life." that is sad. and you know those kids growing up, who would boast about their allowence? how if they were good their parents would give them money. what an great way to encourage laziness. when i was growing up, i'd get dragged into the bathroom for a take-off-skin spanking if i was bad, and if i was good, my reward was....NO SPANKING! (and perhaps a smile and pat on the head) simple enough, no?
so now this leaves us with the issue of guidos. these are guys usually between the ages of 16-24 (anything aside from this age group is entirely innapropriate) they may or may not go tanning depending on their level of wannabe fag. they wear puma sneaker with tight stone washed jeans that usally have fake fade marks and/or holes in them. they maranade themselves in cologne and wear tight muscle shirts that have the potential to exentuate either their pecs or their man titties depending on if they work out and/or juice, (steroids) or just leave it to nature and mcdonnalds.
their myspace is is rittled with retared self taken photos of them standing in a towel infront of they're bathroom mirror or making kissy lips into their camera phone. how gay. and their response to everything in life? "Bro, that's hott." sometimes switched up with, "Dude, that's hott." how original! i mean, come on this is not paris hilton, people. (thank god) anyways to wrap up this post, may i add that these sad, sad creatures many times are going no where with their lifes, are drunk from thursday to sunday, feel the need to wax their eyebrows, and use excessive amounts of hair gel. for those of you who simpathize with the boys i'm refering to, i have three words for you: GET OVER IT. because i sure have.

thank you for your time, i feel much better now...like holding in pee for hours and finally being able to let it all out.
random fact of the day: yaks milk is pink.

Welcome to my site!

This site is dedicated to all of my random and extremely amusing raves and rants. Enjoy them and possibly comment if you care at all about seeing another post again. If you must ask, I came up with my title because there are so many of those moments. Whether it be that uncomfortable silence after you finish gossiping about someone, and realize they're standing right there; when you fart loudly during a prayer meeting; when you tell a racist black joke...and a black person suddenly walks in at the punch line; when someone you don't like tells you they are in love with you; etc. In all of these situation, the appropriate line to break the silence is, "Well....this is awkward."

Seeing as I am going to deal with many awkward and controversial subjects, such as disproving the saying "easy as pie," or what color socks Saddam Hussein was wearing at his execution, or searching for answers on the topic of "malnourished orphans in greene, ny," I thought the present title would permenantly and appropriately suffice.

Hope to hear from anyone who has a comment or a potential controverial topic that has not been thus mentioned.

Thank you for your time ok.
Manegement.

Celebrity Look-alikes

I was recently looking at photos of some of my family members, and I suddenly realized that many of them looked like a celebrity or fictional character. What an amazing idea for a first post! So here it is, guys and girls (and any who are not certain which), celebrity look-alikes-->

In the Top Picture:
2 especially cute monkeys


In the Bottom Picture:
Now don't tell me you can't see the resemblance. I mean, observe the squinting eyes and jowely cheeks! AMAZING.







Now don't tell me you don't see the similarities. JUST DON'T!

Wow...uhh...this is awkward.